Films Yo

So day two of my summer went something like this. I woke up, walked the dogs, called my friend. I waited around for the internet man to fix the broadband (which he did, I hope). I watched two films, The Good Girl and Easy A. Both really, really good films. Easy A is so funny, I can't believe there was a time in my life when I hadn't seen it. And The Good Girl is.. sad. Wow. Jennifer Aniston, well played. I'm in the middle of my third film now, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou. I don't know about you guys, but I really think I should get myself a job. I've been trying really hard to get one but took a break over the exam period (also known as The Time When My Life Fell Apart). I'll get back on that again. Also, I'm still working on my super-long updatey kinda post. I'm at about a month and a half ago now, so we're getting there!

My little sister is a bit of a nutjob. Today, she felt the need to conduct a "survey" of our house and find out who of the four children helped the most around the house and also who had the tidiest room. She told me I was guaranteed to win at least one of them, because that was the only way to be fair about it. She gave each of us a sheet of paper and told us to tick off the right answers. I got no votes for either of them. She got all votes except one, which my brother got. Somehow she managed to win both categories and I came second place in "helps the most around the house", which was nice considering my total lack of votes.

Two post from me in the one year, wow!

If I were to explain every thing that has happened in the past year, I would never get this post done. So I'm going to save that post and write it as a Word Doc and then post it up when I get it done. It's not that this year was particularly eventful (well..) it's that I left it so long to post. So yes, here I am. My exams are over and my summer is very long. I'm finding it hard to get a job so in the meantime (which is probably going to be the entire summer), I'm actually going to write a novel. Or at least start writing a novel. A while ago, I was depressed. I went to counselling and things changed in my life that really needed to (I'll explain in my "update" post) and now I'm back on track. But during this really dark period of my life, I was inspired by a story. I think the novel is going to be based on the writing technique rather than the story, but it's in my head right now. I've got a lot of planning done, so that's good. I'm not going to post about it just yet though, until we're further along. I have a plan to do at least two hours of writing for it a day (don't break the chain), but this week we're on planning. My exams were terrible, but I don't think I failed any of my modules which is probably the main thing. What can you do anyway. So yes, the return of blogging, let's have ya! -Ailish

*cough* there's an awful lot of dust in here..

Eh, hi. I'll cut to the chase. Yes I have been gone since last year. In the past year I have done many, many things and I think I will blog about them, but just not right yet. I'm busy for the next 12 days (exams, yeah I know), but after that I will start this again. Is that okay? As a summary since this time last year, I fell in love, fell out with my friends, started college, made some new friends, cemented relationships with old ones, got my heart broken in so many ways, broke hearts and did very little college work. Sneak preview of what is to come in terms of my blog. I wish I had a sneak preview of the next year, but we can't all be lucky. Anyway, hope you're all wonderful. PS: Here are some links in case you're interested http://cocacolacaliforniafreeze.tumblr.com/ http://www.youtube.com/user/cocacolacalifornia (I only recently started making videos, so yeah) - Ailish

Huh. It's been a while.

Yeah, so incase you didn't realise, I'm in 6th year now.. My final year at school. So I'm pretty busy with endless amounts of homework and hours of "study". I've got my exams in 12 days, I'm totally unprepared for the big old Leaving Cert. I don't even know what I want to do in college. But that's a whole other kettle of fish.I
I graduated last night, not that it means anything really over here in Ireland. It was pretty emotional though. Like to think some of the (well three) girls I'd been in school with since I was 4 years old. Right up to now. I've shared 14 years of my life with them and now it's just over. We went out to a pub with the teachers after.. It was pretty fun and a nice way to end the year. Anyway.. You won't be hearing from me til the end of June.. But sorry I've been MIA.

I'll talk to you all later..

Hey stranger.

"Might be holding your hand, but I'm holding it loose. Got to talk then we choke, it's like our necks in a noose."

- Kickstarts by The Example.

I think the above sums up my current status on blogger. I'm never on, I don't read many other blogs any more, I don't post. I've just lost touch since I went away in summer.

However.. I have started a tumblr. I like it there. I can post short posts, and quotes (which I have a new obsession with now) and pictures. I like it. If you care to follow me, here is the link. http://cocacolacaliforniafreeze.tumblr.com/

I'll probably come back on here from time to time.. But still. Oh, and if you follow me on tumblr, I'll follow you back! :)

Taking the Bull By the Horns.

Today I told a boy something I should've told him three months ago. I told him that I loved him from the very first day.

He told me he's been planning to break up with me for a week.

The thing is though, that's why I said it. I knew I couldn't let this go til I told him. I knew something was up. I knew it was going to happen. I said to my best friend on the phone last night "some one's going to get dumped tomorrow". He said "No, no, usually when I break up with a girl we get closer, almost to make up for it". I told him, "Well, we'll see, won't we?".
We did.

I've come to realise, the rejection didn't hurt. I can't change his feelings. Although I don't think it was very nice of him to turn around and say "Well yeah, I've only ever sorta like you.." especially considering I let HIM pursue, not the other way around. He can't go back on that argument, I wouldn't have the balls to ask someone out. His feelings though, "are neither right nor wrong, they simply are".

Some parts of me are happy it's turned out this way, however lonely I feel right now.


On a side note, what kinda knob lets a girl go home from town on her own, late at night, the night before Hallowe'en, doesn't even bother to help her find her friends but then only texts her when he's on the way back from a club "oh sorry for blah blah blah" but not "oh did you get home okay?". He doesn't know that I did find my friends, or that I did get home okay. People sometimes.

I woke up this morning, dying of some illness, but that's all irrelevant to the post. Anyway, in the middle of the night, as I couldn't sleep I was reading John Green's book Paper Towns. And there was a paragraph in it that struck me as profound. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

We're living in the future.

What we do now is in preparation for the future. I'm going to school, I'm trying to do well.. In order to go to college and to get a good job, to earn money, to buy a nice house, to raise a family there, so my children grow up well, go to college get good jobs.. And the cycle goes on.. And on.. And on..

And what happens then? It's just struck me that I need to stop doing this. I know, you can say I'm only 17. But is it not better that I've realised this now, in stead of missing out on the prime of my youth? I need to stop working, and start having more fun. Obviously one needs to do work, and I do plan on going to college, not to get a good job, but because I want to.

I won't tell my parents this, because they'll accuse me of being lazy and just not wanting to work, but school is no longer my priority. Life is.

What if I die tomorrow? I've a list of 19 things I want to do, and I'll never get to do them. I'm taking the bull by it's horns from now on. Like, obviously some of the things I want to do are going to take a while (ie. become fluent in French) so if I died tomorrow I'd never get to do that anyway.

This post is so unstructured, but that's the way it is.

I thought I posted.. Maybe I didn't publish..

Yeah, I thought I posted a post about a week ago. Apparently I am unable to hit the orange "publish post" icon. Gah. So here I am anyway, sorry about that. I know I'm so terrible with blogging since I've come back (AND I'VE 58 FOLLOWERS. WTAF?! THANK YOU!). I will try fix this problem. Try. I've a lot of school work these days (FML). That's what you get for doing the leaving I suppose.



This song is a bit gas.. First up is English, and then it's Maths.. I could do Honours.. I should do Pass.


I saw a beggar today, who as I passed by said "Can you read this?" I turned around and read his sign, it said "Why lie? I need a drink." I laughed and gave him some change. It was a laugh anyway.

An Actual Post!

So, back at the beginning of summer, Tuesday June 8 to be exact, I posted a list of things to do during the summer. Now, let's go through this list and see what I did.

Here it is:
What I did:
2. Go to three parties (minimum).

7. Go blonde. Or any random colour.

8. Take over 500 photos.

What I didn't do:
1. Study. (minimum five hours a week)
-All the Chem.
-French irregular present tense verbs, past tense, and future tense.
-Rewrite both Biology hardbacks.
-Wuthering Heights quotes.
-Learn off Poetry.
-Revise maths.
-Learn anything to do with Irish. I will settle for ANYTHING.
-Revise music.


3. Have a movie night.

4. Host a sleepover.

5. Go to a sleepover.

6. Go to the beach. Regularly.

9. Save €100.

10. Finish my Legacy.

11. Go swimming once a week.

To be quite honest, I'm dissappointed with myself, not that I feel I wasted my summer, I didn't AT ALL. Loved almost every minute of it. But I'm annoyed I couldn't even do a simple 11 task list. They were easy too, it's not like I had something wild on it that I wouldn't have been able to do, I just didn't bother doing any of it. Oh well, I survived!

I'm back at school now, trying to get back into the swing of things. It's really hard though and not to mention the fact that my immune system is down BIGTIME now (I'm currently off school sick, honestly I've never felt this sick in my life!) and I'm constantly "suffering" from a cold at the very least. I think I've a virus right now, but then again, I'm not a doctor, so don't hold me to that one!

Sometime, in the depts of winter, I'll look back on my photos from the summer, upload them to here and talk about just how spectacular it was. :) <3

So here I am.

It's been a while Blogger, hasn't it? I'm sorry for being neglectful, I really am. It's just when I came home I was so out of touch with the world. I had little to no contact with the outside world, aside from the odd text conversation or phone call with a friend (there was no time, and.. I didn't care). I remember one night when the Bean an Tí's (woman we were staying with) daughter let us use her laptop and I got my Facebook fix.
It was quite strange being away, I wanted so badly to get away from home, away from my friends and just away from my life in general. Now I'm back. It's strange anyway.

Again, I'm sorry about the lack of posting, I'll try catch up and fill you all in!
Hope you're all doing well!
-Ailish.

home.

Thank lord I'm home.
I'll update you all at a later stage.

I just had, by far, the best (and most tiring and most eventful and most EVERYTHING) three weeks of my life. It's still good to be home.

I'm off lads!

See you all in 21 days!
I hope you're all well when I come back and lalala.
Grand so. We're all grand? Yeah. Grand.

Slán,
á Ailish, á Chara.


I'm scared. D:

But yeah, I'll catch up with you all when I get back. I'ma gonna attempt to keep a diary for these three weeks. Oh Gosh, I'm so excited.
If you wanna hear from me, follow me on Twitter. I can use it by text, so I can't see replies or anything. But still, if you want to see my frantic "i'm fucked" messages, you can! :)
Talk to you all later!

Ailish.

Summer, so far.

Hi there! This is a super-quick photo blog of my antics for the past month and a half. I'll probably do another one once summer is over.

Caroline (hereby known as Frenchie) and I. How romantic. I'm such a fucking ginger and I don't even know it.

I just see this photo and laugh. 1) because it was a funny and happy day, and 2) because I think my expression is priceless. Hello?

This was a funny day too. And I just think this photo is pretty :D

DJ Harry Potter.. in the mix. All my make-up had managed to come off my face. What joy!

Happy Birthday Jess!

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! (I'm Troy) LOL@MY FACE. ;)

Deer! Baaahh! They all ran (away from us) just after this photo was taken. So we legged it. I thought I was gonna die. You wouldn't want a smack of those antlers.

Best Day Ever! :) Most fun I've had in a long while! Oh and by the way, Catzy isn't gay.. She just came as support too!

Are ya well? Cos you're lookin well.

Yeah, so I met this Roman guy at a party I went to. You know, he was wearing a toga.

Poor Tobes had a stroke :( But he's doing okay now! He's 11 years old and now walks around like a drunkard.. But he's walking and that's the main thing!

Oh and thank you so so so so so much for the 50 followers. I never thought I'd make it this far ever. What can I do to repay you all? :)

I've been tagged!

The Honesty Award
-from Eleanor Roscuro

Share one thing that nobody knows about you.
Nobody knows about me.. I uhm.. I have a twitter! (I rarely use it, but I'm trying to get back in the habit!) Follow me, would you?


What is your biggest regret in life?
Letting you go. And I can't even tell you.

What would you do with a thousand dollars?
I'd go to France/New York. Probably New York. Though, that thousand would only be a fraction of what it would cost.

If you could go back in time, would you still be with the person you are with right now?
If I went back in time, no not at all. I wouldn't go back in time though, I like it the way it is, but if I were to, this would never have happened. I must laugh at the situations I put myself in.

What do you like or dislike about my (the tagger's) blog page?

Why would someone bitch about someone they'd been tagged by.. I like however, that she was my second follower ever! And reminds me of it regularly! <3

Father Ted.

Possibly one of the greatest shows... Ever! It's just plain hilarious. Too bad Dermot Morgan died and they stopped making it. -_-
Anyway, here are some of my favourite clips, I've been watching it a lot lately, I got a lend of the boxset.

There is always time for a nice cup of tea! Sure didn't our Lord himself on the cross pause for a nice cup of tea before giving himself up for the world?

"It's not the morning"


"I wouldn't know Ted, ya big bollocks."


"FECK OFF CUP"


"How about Ted? That's a good name for a rabbit"


"I stand corrected"

Ah right so. We're down to 9 days lads, that's single figures. And, to be quite honest, I'm fecked sure, I've nothing packed, or bought for this "holiday".
I realised, that in my last post (due to the fact that almost every comment had "where are you going?" or something along those lines, in it) that I neglected to say where I am going. And this (taken from Wikipedia) is what I have in store for me for 21 days.

Gaeltacht is the Irish language word meaning an Irish-speaking region. In Ireland, The Gaeltacht, or An Ghaeltacht, refers individually to any, or collectively to all, of the districts where the government recognizes that the Irish language is the predominant language, that is, the vernacular spoken at home. These districts were first officially recognised during the early years of the Irish Free State, after the Gaelic Revival, as part of government policy to restore the Irish language.

So basically, a bunch of teens looking to improve their Irish for the good old Leaving Cert and the Junior Cert all pop down to the Gaeltacht areas for three weeks and go to classes and céilís and what not. Sounds like great craic. Only problem is, I'm brutal at Irish. Like really really really bad! Oh well, I'm looking forward to the three weeks of freedom.
This song sums it up, exactly as I feel.
Heathers- Remember When


Oh, and also, this is the first time I've managed to work out how to post videos on my blog. Ah.

Anyway, I'm off for the moment, I'll be on later to do a birra reading of your blogs and whatnot. How're you doing? And hello? 48 followers.. Thanks you guys *blushes* you've no idea how grateful I am!



I have to think of some sort of celebration for the 50th follower.. IF there is one! Any ideas?

Fourty FIVE *dances* and, btw, I'm sorry!

After my last post, I'll bet most of you are thinking, "oh shit.. This is going to be long". But no, we're grand sure. This is a oh my god, 45 followers post. And I know I say this with every single one, but I really never expected to get this amount. This is five away from half way to one hundred. And that is a LOT. In my books anyway.

I also want to apologise for that last post. I was ever-so-slightly hormonal (as if you couldn't tell) and felt like ranting my heart out to people who just weren't there.. And subsequently crying my eyes out later on! But thanks for all your comments, and I spent today trying (in vain) to catch up on all your blogs.. My God, you've all written a lot since I've been gone!

Also, I think it's time to drop another bombshell.

*whispers* in thirteen days (ohmygod) I will be gone for three weeks.


EEEP!

Basically, my life story.

Well not really..

I haven't written in a while (Frenchie).. And I think I might do it today. So I was reading this post on Gabrielle's blog, where she talks about a boy she likes, and the story reminds me so much of a boy I liked. A long long time ago!

(Now that I've written it, I've realised the stories aren't very similar. Also, I hadn't intended for this to be so deep. haahahhah. By the way, I WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL BY THURSDAY. With a super good post.)

http://music-and-the-lyrics-of-life.blogspot.com/2010/07/story-time-whoo-hoo-pulls-tissues-out.html


Okay, so let's drag ourselves back to the 24th of March four years ago. I was at my best friend Ash's birthday party. There was a boy there with dark hair, who brought her lemons as a birthday present. I knew this was it. This was Love. There was also a ginger there too. And we had a good time, played monopoly, yadayadayada.. Wait, I just realised I'm going to have to change his name.. Just in case. Okay, we'll call him Heathcliff, seeing as it's obviously fake. Anyway.

So we left Ash's 13th birthday party and that was it. For now. My friend.. Catherine Earnshaw started to talk to Gingey, they got on really really well. I was jealous of her, that I didn't live right next door to them. So I started to make excuses to get closer to them. I would go over to her house more often, don't get me wrong, Catherine Earnshaw and I were great friends, and still are. (Oh and by the way, this isn't Catzy.. I hadn't even met her yet). But anyway, gradually we got closer. And introduced to more of their friends. And so a group formed. Which we called the "Posse" (it works with the area they live). We spent the entire summer of '07 together, wow, I was in love with Heathcliff.. We would flirt, spend the days together, we had our songs, our jokes... It was amazing. Life carries on. I "went out with" a boy around Halloween of that year, because I was starting to realise that maybe Heathcliff didn't like me in that way (actually I've a funny story about that boy for later). Maybe I went out with him to make Heathcliff jealous. I don't know.

But anyway, we broke up after a while and then, after New Year, another boy joined... Who, for the sake of this, we shall call Gremlin. No reason or anything.. *cough* Anyway, this Gremlin caused a rift in our tightly knit group. See, he liked a friend of mine, Jess. But she rejected him, even though she liked him, she wasn't ready or something. And so he decides to go out with Catherine Earnshaw. They lasted a week. After they broke up, Catherine realised she loved him, and this is where shit hit the fan.. Cos what does the good old Gremlin do? Only ask out Catherine's best friend, and mine and Jess'. Oh and by the way, Jess's sister died near Christmas and my mam got diagnosed with cancer in March/April time.

So Poser decides to accept him, even though she knows Catherine still loved him (can I clarify that Catherine knew him quite a while beforehand?). So what happens next? Oh nothing only Gremlin cheats on Poser with Catherine Earnshaw. Jess and I find out, and Gremlin begs us to tell Poser, so we do. This news splits the group. Why? Well, turns out that Gremlin had also been sexting a few girls. Yet Poser takes him back. Even to this day, it angers me. Jess and I pack up and leave. Heathcliff blames us for it, even though Gremlin had asked Jess to do it (they were best friends then) and yadayadayada. Basically we can fill this part (summer 08) in with two words "TEEN ANGST". I went through a terrible time (this is what I was talking about in that post about God). I remember babysitting, and sitting downstairs while the kid was upstairs and CRYING and CRYING and CRYING. I cried myself to sleep. I self-harmed. And the thing is, only Jess knew. No one else, just her. I know now, it was wrong of me to do that but Christ at the time, there was nothing else. I felt like everyone hated me, and in truth, they did. Taylor Swift is right, fifteen is the age when everything changes. I couldn't help hurting myself, I felt like I had caused everything. I wished I could make it so Jess got to say goodbye to her sister, I wished she never had to say goodbye. I wished I could cure my mam. I wished Heathcliff would love me. I wished for everything to work out and it hurt so much, because each one I needed so badly. It wasn't like now "I wish they'd ask me out".. I needed his love. And it was my fault he didn't love me, it had to be. There was something about me that, to him, made me unlovable. I wanted to spend my life with him. And I know fifteen isn't the age to decided this, but it's what I wanted.

Anyway, due to another friend, things were smoothed over. Eventually. It took a long time, and I will never forget it. And for the most part, things went back to normal. Then something terrible happened. Jess and I fell out. This killed me. I wanted to be her friend, desperately. But she was in a different place to me. And I needed so badly to let the past go. I had to, I wasn't able for it. I know it makes me sound like a bad friend, and maybe I am. Wait, I AM. I couldn't shoulder her problems and mine. I started to hang out with Catherine Earnshaw more. And this brings us up to last summer. So Heathcliff decides let's drop a bombshell..

"I'm gay"

I didn't know what to do. I mean, believe me, be as gay as a hatter, I don't care, honestly.. But please.. Not you. I needed you to love me. I needed you.

Luckily I went away with the family for a while that summer. We went back to school this year, and now things are finally getting back to normal and I'm getting over it. Kinda. Well, the thing is, I wasted what, 3/4 years of my life on him? You don't get over that easily.

Anyway, how are YOU today?

Cosmic Lovin'

Cosmic Love.

I would like to remember this moment forever.

Thank you for the 41 followers, and sorry for being neglectful :(
But really, thank you so so so much, I never expected this.


A lot of unexpected things have happened.